The single household telephone

Way back before we became parents, Ben and I had a conversation about phone use in our future household.  We were both remembering how when we were in middle school, when you called a friend on the phone, you often had to talk to their parents, or their siblings, or whomever it was that answered the house telephone.  I remember being taught telephone manners around age 8 or so - how to answer politely, how to take a message, how to say, "I'm sorry she can't come to the phone right now" rather than "She's busy,"  how to ask to talk to the person you called, etc.  It was a big deal to me, and made me feel very grown up.

  Crosley Princess Phone, Vintage Tub

Not only were manners important, but having a single household telephone meant that our parents knew and regularly spoke to our friends, or at least the friends that were close enough to be calling.  Ben and I realized that we feel the loss of the single household telephone even now.  When Ben's family calls, they call him.  When my family calls, they call me.  It's surprisingly (sadly) rare that either of us talks to the other's immediate family on the phone.

And it only takes about 20 minutes in the presence of a text-happy teenager to start saying things like, "When WE have kids...blah blah blah."  But seriously.  What in the world are you texting to each other?  Who are you talking to?  Call me a control freak, but I kind of want to know who my kids are talking to.  And also, put the dang phone down and go do the dishes.  And tell your friends to get off my lawn. Hippies.

Turquoise push-button phone, Etsy

So, we decided, when we have kids, we'll have a cellphone-free home.  Check your cellphone at the door, (perhaps in a nice little common area where the chargers are all lined up).  Tell your friends that if you don't answer your cell phone, they can call the house phone.  Simple as that. 

rotary phone from Etsy 

Ben mentioned the other day that, you know, if we wanted to, we could institute the common household telephone plan now.   He also pointed out that hey! we don't even need to get a landline, we could just get a third cell phone.  And he's right, technically that would satisfy our current situation, where it's just the two of us text-averse old farts using the phone.  But it seems silly, doesn't it?  To have this third cellphone that you use after certain hours when you're home?  It seems unnecessarily uptight and fussy somehow.  (yeah, I know, like the rest of this isn't...)

reconditioned 1940's Stromberg-Carlson 1222 Deskset telephone, Three Potato Four

I think that part of what is appealing about the common household telephone is that it's a throwback.  I imagine it big and clunky, like old movies where the big sister has to sit in the hallway to talk her beau and the little brothers and sisters are all listening in by the stairs.  It's stationary - that phone is for home, and it stays there (and doesn't get lost in couch cushions).   And perhaps that's the heart of this idea:  something to mark the difference between the outer world, where each of us is a single mobile individual, and the world of Home, where we exist all together, as a family.  Plus if you're going to torture your kids by being a stodgy old curmudgeon, I say go big or go home.  Maybe when they're 13 they can have a phone in their room for a little privacy. 

 

Wall phone 302 by Crosley, Vintage Tub

We haven't actually instituted the single household telephone system yet.  But we're seriously thinking about it.  And that has only a little bit to do with my recent desire to buy a funky old telephone.  I think any of these beauties would fit the bill...

PS: This is the exact phone that I had in my room in high school.  I spent many hours being fabulous on that phone.  It was my grandmother's.